Thursday, December 30, 2010

Balcony seating...

I haven't spoken to or seen my best friend in over a week. He's also one I've had as a lover. We've ended our physical relationship and he reassures me that our friendship will remain. I'm nervous to see him and his wife tomorrow. I'm friends with them both but having so little contact while I was away (visiting family for a week) I feel our bond diminishing. My hold, my connection to him slipping away. He's starting to feel like a stranger to me. Is this always how it will be?

Acquire. Hold. Release. Regret. Forget.

I try so hard not to be used, feel used, but I'm not sure anymore. When I think about all the kindnesses, the caring, the moments and time spent, it's like seeing someone else, watching a play of my life from the audience. 

I want to get up and leave before the second act.  


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