Monday, July 18, 2011

Dual Identity

Don't worry, I'm still on my sexuality kick but in reading something else I saw this excerpt and didn't want to forget it since it's very relevant to how I'm feeling right now. We all know I'm a super-villian, but there are days I border on feeling like a hero. An anti-hero at the very least ::smiles:: Dual Natured.

"...BPD shares some features with bipolar disorder, for which it is frequently mistaken, but unlike bipolar disorder, BPD does not lead to lengthy cycles of highs and lows. Instead it causes more rapid mood swings. In less than 24 hours, people with BPD can experience euphoria, suicidal depression and everything in between. BPD is also characterized by a disturbing, but fascinating, dual nature: when people with the disorder are not experiencing flagrant symptoms, they often appear highly functional. “You could meet a patient with BPD in a social setting and not have an inkling that the patient had a major psychiatric disorder,” says psychiatrist Glen O. Gabbard of the Baylor College of Medicine. “The very next day the same patient could appear in an emergency room in a suicidal crisis and require hospitalization.”..."


  1. I love how you post how extremely busy you which btw holy hell you seriously need a vacation.. and then an hour later you make a post... I thought I was the only person that anally organized.

    But regarding your post, I can so identify with this. It is mainly the reason I feel so anxious and apprehensive about telling people "hey I have bipolar" because in many ways I appear 100% but it's just an act..I can only keep up the appearance for so long before I snap..even when I snap I can usually manage to contain it somewhat..although I have had my moments of nuclear explosion but I know that the act will make people think I am faking.. because don't we all want to fake being crazy.. it's such a great thing to be..

  2. I understand the facade all too well, but it's only a facade. So many times I feel I could fall apart at any moment. I try not to let people on to that little tid bit, but I certainly know what you're talking about.

  3. I sometimes wonder if the BPD facade is part of our perfectionism. I feel like I'm learning more about my illness from reading your blog, thank you for writing so well.

  4. ::smiles:: I just can't stop thinking about this stuff hahaha. Any spare minute I have I squeeze in just a little bit more.

    I can certainly see this facade as being a part of our perfectionism. I hate the idea of anyone seeing a side of me I perceive as being 'weak' even if it's not... because if we show a side of ourselves that is not perfect, is not beautiful, there is a chance that it will not be accepted, we will be reject, and then left. Not being perfect, is not an option. Even though this is not true, it certainly feels true.

    This is actually one of the reasons my Roommate was not convinced I'm Borderline because when she first moved in with me she'd never seen me dissolve from one minute to the next. I'm so good at portraying a fairy tale version of myself that no one quite catches on.

  5. FML, I just found out last Friday that I've been suffering/enjoying the hell out of BPD. I'm 41 and I just found out. Needless to say I've done a lot of Google'ing over the weekend researching this and being amazed at all the discoveries I'm made about myself. All the similarities are scaring the shit out of me. All the friends I've lost, all the boyfriends that I loved/hated, they are all gone...was it my fault? I don't know and I never will, but I just know that this hurts pretty damn bad right now. I've just been inundated with all of this information and it's just too much. I'm starting my own blog but it won't be up until my phone gets turned back on. I'm rambling, I'm sorry! = ) I like what your post and look forward to getting to know you more! Thanks! = )

    1. Your fault? It still takes 2 but is there any 1 of them you cared for most? Maybe drop that 1 a note (email or ?) My bpd did that and we're doing well over a year now , ) best wishes!

  6. This is so perfect!!! I'm going to use the quote on my blog! Be well and take care of yourself.

  7. People with Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar Disorder are often misdiagnosed. Problem is that treatment is very different and some of the same medication can be used. It is so very common that the to disorder are misdiagnosed especially in a quick hospital setting.

  8. Wow wow wow describes my love to a tee. Everything you write is so her. I haven't self-diagnosed her because proper psychologists have diagnosed her as such also. It's just so fascinating. She has every damn symptom and it's like when you write it like that it's just so perfect.
    Besides her parents, I'm the one person who's been in her life the longest so I feel like I've experienced everything with her. I just have this desperate need to know her so completely...
    She has identity issues so it can be hard to know what's real and what's not..but I can't help but be fascinated by her dark side because I feel like that's where the real answers lie..


Leave me a comment! It makes me feel good and less paranoid about talking to myself =)

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