Thursday, July 28, 2011

Helping Yourself Heal: Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder

One of the most overlooked methods of treating BPD, or any disorder, is that which we can do for ourselves. Self-Help for Borderline Personality Disorder is something I would recommend in addition to therapy.
I ‘managed’ my BPD, my depression, my anxiety, my everything, by myself, for most of my life. Some days it was better than others. Some days it was far from enough. Self-Help is not what I would consider the absolute best option of treatment. However, I do believe that it’s an important step in addition to therapy. I’m still on the fence about trying to medicate BPD, however, psychotherapy is essential. I believe this. However you can’t live in therapy 24/7. The rest of the time we have to work on ourselves. Some of the things that I find to be very helpful:

Increase your awareness. Increase your awareness of the disorder. Increase your awareness of Self. Read, research, and obtain as much information as you can about this problem so that you can gain an understanding of what it is you’re going through [like say, reading my blog =) ]. You might say, I’m living it, I already know what I’m going through. It’s badness. Well,  that badness probably has a name, and you’re probably not alone in how you feel. Putting a name to the feeling will help you gain a better ability to deal with it. Reach out, find some support, let others know you’re there. Your voice is important, just as the voices of others may be important to you. Your voices are important to me.
Create a support network. This could be as simple as friends and family. Allow the people you trust into your world. Share with them the knowledge you’ve gathered and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Voicing your issues, allows you take constructive action to work through them instead of Acting Out or Acting In. There are also a multitude of on-line support groups, forums, message boards, blogs… my blog =)  Say hi, let us know you’re out there and maybe we can be of assistance to each other before all else fails. Sometimes just knowing that you’re not alone is enough to get through a really rough moment.
Asking for help is hard. Trust me, I know this. It feels like admitting weakness. It’s not. Asking for help takes courage. Recognizing that you’re human and looking for support will only make you stronger. Sometimes you don’t need to ask for help explicitly. If you’re having a hard time being alone you don’t need to say, “Being alone is terrifying please help me”… just call a friend and ask to go grab some coffee. Small things make a world of difference.
Prevention is important, not just clean up after things fall apart.
How I deal when I’m not medicated? Call me old fashioned but I’m a fan of diet and exercise. No, not dieting. Diet. As in what you put in it, is important. Greasy, high fat, fast food garbage is going to make you look and feel exactly like the things which you take into yourself. Be kind to yourself and nourish your body. What you eat and drink affects your entire body, including your mind. A healthy diet leads to a healthier mind. I’m not just spewing new age-y vegan hippy crap here. It’s scientifically proven that the nutrients (or lack of) that your body metabolizes effect you in various ways. Good food = feeling energized and healthy. Bad food = feeling sluggish, slow, and unhealthy.
I’m strict vegetarian (which I would never impose on anyone) and it works well for me though it also very easy to be healthy while still consuming animal products. I do still worry about getting proper nutrients though so I take my vitamins too. Here’s my miracle combination: Multi-vitamin, B-complex, Calcium, Iron, and occasionally Biotin. This has worked better for me than any of the medication I’ve been on thus far. Don’t believe me? Try it for a month.
Next. Exercise. Get your body moving. You don’t have to run a marathon or be a tri-athlete to be healthy and in good shape. And don’t give me any of this ‘round is a shape’ business. Take care of you. Regular exercise increases energy, improves concentration & focus, lowers stress, boosts your immune system and a multitude of other mental and physical benefits. If there’s one thing in your day that you really should make time for it’s at least 30 minutes of movement, more if you can manage it.
My confession is that since I started my Abilify I just haven’t had the energy or will to move like I normally do and as a result I can feel the fatigue seeping into my bones.  I hate it. Normally: I’m a runner, I weight train, I do yoga/pilates, and I’m a dancer (traditional Middle Eastern dance). When I’m physically active I am so much more mentally healthy it’s astounding.

So even if you’re not medicated and not in therapy, there are plenty of things you can do to help yourself out. I can’t make medication recommendations, nor would I even if I could. I absolutely recommend therapy. In the meantime, and in addition to, I recommend everything I’ve just mentioned. I KNOW it helps because it’s always how I’ve managed. I won’t lie and say that it’s always enough. I’ve already mentioned that it’s not always enough, but it’s something. And that something can be the difference between being functional and being hospitalized or worse.  


  1. I agree. I've been doing a vitamin regiment and trying to exercise on a daily basis for the last ten years or so. I don't notice a huge change when I'm taking my vitamins, but quit taking them for a couple weeks and the effect is more than noticeable.

    Good thoughts.

  2. I could NOT agree more. Simply popping a pill or sitting in therapy for an hour a week will NOT help you to gain control or stability. You have to do the work and there is a lot. I think I am living proof of it while I do NOT recommend my way for everyone so far it has worked for me. I definitely agree about the diet and exercise part. Since I quit eating sugary processed foods and stopped drinking caffeinated drinks as well as exercise regularly (even if it's only yoga) I can tell a HUGE difference in myself. I don't think there is a special "diet" that will cure PD like some claim BUT improving your diet will improve how you feel.

  3. I think more BPD folk need to take care of themselves in the ways you mention here. I swear by my vitamins and minerals, and am trying to eat healthy food and exercise, and it really helps. Also, I think therapy is only successful when you self-help along with it. With the internet there are so many places to learn, reach out and connect with other ppl dealing with PDs.

    Thanks for these tips Haven.

  4. I am having one of those "not enough moments". I have therapy today, but I feel like I hate her. This is so hard sometimes. Sometimes I just have to wonder 'why bother'. I am glad you write this blog.

    1. Try to do d breathing exercise..just inhale and exhale 20 times

  5. Thank you for the feedback everyone! I feel very strongly that in addition to therapy these things are very important. It's crucial to take an active roll in our own journeys of healing.

    @Dev... Oh I so know the feeling. And the one of not wanting to go to therapy. I hope you went anyways. I usually feel better if I push myself to go.

  6. Yes!! I went and am I ever glad I did! I take vitamins also...Calcium, B12, iron(3x a week), Magnesium, and D. Due to my physical problems, I cannot go out in the sun very much. I am not a vegetarian but I do not eat very much red meat...stick with the fish and chicken and turkey! I eat lots of salads and vegetables. When I do go eat fast food...I can really tell...I feel bad for hours after...I guess that should tell me something!! Thanks for your help Haven. Take care.

  7. Such a great post! When I was first diagnosed with bpd, I wanted to do everything I could to stay away from taking medication for my problems. I instead rely on vitamins and yoga to keep my bpd symptoms in check. Along with this, I got some great advice for helping treat my bpd on my own at This has really worked for me. There are a lot of natural options out there, it is just a matter of figuring out what works best for you.

  8. Something that really helps me is an amino acid called GABA. There are lots of different brands & it's probably in a health food store. My anxiety went way down after starting that. You sound like you're doing a great job. Godspeed, and don't give in.

  9. Its hard to take some of those vitamins mentioned when you are pregnant as I am currently. My episodes, (what I call my outbursts) have become more intense so I have been more aware of what I am putting into my body. I also try to educate myself as much as possible on what vitamins do what and which ones I need to boost serotonin and such. This can be so overwhelming because its almost like an obsession when I research this.
    I am so glad I ran across this because now I don't feel so alone. No one, not any of my family or friends understands what I am going through. My bf- bless his heart- tries very hard to understand what I am going through, and is super supportive. Thank God for that!

  10. I sometimes wonder why struggle and fight and control this itch, I've decided to end this once in for all, I've set a day, a milestone to be more precise, I achieve it i'll live with this, as the achievement will make it way more bearable by giving me an identity I can live with, if things go other way, this volcano within will die once in for all, peace assured.


Leave me a comment! It makes me feel good and less paranoid about talking to myself =)

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