Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Conversations from the Borderline

Just had a random conversation with a guy in my office.
IT Guy says anxiously: You still have the “User Information: Read this while adjusting your chair” tag on your chair.
Me: ::looks:: Yeah, never took it off.
IT Guy: It makes it seem like you aren’t going to be staying with us.
Me: I suppose I could take it off.
IT Guy: Yes, please take it off.
Me: ::removes tag:: There, now I’m staying.  
IT Guy: Good, much better.

This struck me as funny and as if I’m not the only one with abandonment issues.
Two thoughts:
1.      Why didn’t I remove the tag? I do things like this all the time. I leave tags on, leave things in the package, keep things in pristine condition… when I don’t feel like they’re mine, they don’t belong to me, I think I’ll have to give them back, return them… when I feel like I won’t be around long enough to keep something. Or something won’t be around long enough to remain mine. I lack permanency. It’s like I subconsciously don’t want to get attached to the objects around me. Does anyone else do this?
2.      That he found it important enough to mention. Someone else thinks about having me around and would like me to remain into the future. Otherwise the indicator that I was lacking permanency wouldn’t have bothered him. It’s a nice thought.

6 comments:

  1. I do that too...I've been married for four years..lived in my husband's house for FOUR years..and my clothes are still in my suitcase sitting on the floor...I won't even go and take a glass or drink or food or anything that I perceive is not "mine" because I don't feel like this is "my" house...I feel like a guest..and I don't want to disturb anyone so I don't take and don't ask for anything..

    and the fact that no one seems to notice this after FOUR years makes me feel as if they don't want me here...

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  2. Bizarre! I do recognise it, somewhat. It's not something I actually tend to do consciously. I notice it most in things I've bought on the fly that I'm not really sure I want / want to do anything with. Or even with places I used to live, where I never really unpacked everything (goes as well for decorating).

    Feeling wanted and needed does go with the territory. But I have never thought about it in that particular way before! Interesting... Something I'll keep an eye out for.

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  3. Lol, I'm the complete opposite! I HATE tags. I always have to take them off almost immediately, and things have to come out of their wrapping even if I know there's the possibility I may have to return it. I guess, I like things to be a part of me, right away. lol. Also, my mother and gran had a habit of leaving labels on things, my mum is also anal about things being pristine, and I'm VERY different. I don't care if things get scratched, it's 'character' lol. It's both an aesthetic thing for me since I'm an artist, (tags are ugly) and it's also my impatient desire to enjoy things I've just bought right away! lol. Nah, I can't deal with labels, it's all so temporary Haven, and that's what I don't like. I like feeling like I'm meant to be somewhere, sitting in that chair, owning that nice lamp or that lovely skirt I just bought; that it's all mine. haha. I'm weird today.

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Leave me a comment! It makes me feel good and less paranoid about talking to myself =)

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