Typical Presentations of the Schema
I don’t know. I don’t really have anything to say about this. In terms of this schema I think I would be someone that overcompensates. I prefer to avoid attention and therefore approval. I stay in the background so people won’t notice me. I am purposefully contradictory. I enjoy playing the devil’s advocate, even if the devil is a decision I don’t actually believe in. If I can push someone away, there’s no chance that they’ll be able to get close enough to hurt me. It’s not until someone becomes an obsession for me that I need their approval and recognition, but this comes from all those other places I think.
Oddly I think my brother is closer to this category than me. My father pushed us so hard in athletics and activities. All these sports had judges and prizes. My brother was/is the golden child. He was the star athlete. He won every trophy, every blue ribbon, and every gold medal. His face was constantly in the newspaper. He was the leader, the head of the team, the president of his fraternity. He emphasizes wealth and status to a degree I can’t even fathom. I don’t care about these things at all.
In high school when I was a senior, he was a freshman. At that point I had fully rebelled against my parents, wore nothing but black and shock rock makeup/piercings, was completely Goth, the only Goth in my entire district in fact so I was terribly, ostentatiously different. Misunderstood by everyone. My brother was the golden child, star athlete, in his pressed and sporty clothes, whom everyone adored. Everyone knew us both, for very different reasons. We avoided each other. Me because I simply didn’t care and was consumed by my own preoccupations. Him, because as he once told me, he was embarrassed by how I dressed, “Why can’t you just be normal”. Why would I want to be? To anyone that took the time to talk to me I was actually a very nice person with a lot of interesting things to talk about. I was sick of guys only interested in using me for my body or my looks. If you wanted to get close to me, you had to display a willingness to overlook the superficial and get to know me. Was that so bad? I don’t think so.
My brother and I get along fantastically now. I calmed down my outside image, and he has a more accepting mind towards things that are outside of the norm. I definitely think he falls into this Schema, but I don’t think it’s maladaptive (Remember, everyone has characteristics of the various schemas but that doesn't mean they're maladaptive). Or unwarranted. He actually is exceptionally good at the things he does and leading a life that is quite successful. I know he struggles with depression though which is a big indicator that all isn’t well in Beaver Cleaver land.