|I really do have a hard time taking this holiday srsly.|
Yes, it’s that time again. That special day of the year when Hallmark tells you that you haven’t been living up to your woman’s expectations of what a good spouse should be. Congratulations you fail at life, unless of course you empty your bank account on expensive jewelry, flowers, and epic love poetry that you compiled yourself while starving in a cave, naked, for an entire year.
This holiday makes a lot of semi-reasonable women turn into pretty, pretty ultra-pink heart shaped princesses with highly unreasonable expectations. You don’t have to have Borderline Personality Disorder to be driven crazy with this one, but as with most things, it’s possible to make us crazier.
If you’re dating, married, “special” friends, or
stalking appreciative of the Borderline in your life you should know by now that it’s important to make her feel special pretty often. If you wait for only one day a year to provide her with the reassurance that she is meaningful to you, well, you probably experienced the melt down and received a lovely parting gift of emotional explosions. Frequent reassurance of love and caring are very important (To EVERYONE!) when you’re involved with a Borderline. Be careful not to be too reassuring though. You don’t want to cross the line into smothering and emotional suffocation.
Really, you want to make your loved one think Valentine’s Day is silly because you already make the effort to turn those ‘average’ days of his/her life into something special. That’s really the point here.
Be continually appreciative.
But for those of you that didn’t plan ahead and now are floundering about to make this one day a focal point of the year, here are some helpful tips for a smooth evening out with your Borderline.
Tip #1: If your Borderline has an eating disorder, don’t get her chocolate. I know the corner drug store has those gigantic heart shaped boxes of chocolate all up in your face, but unless you want to encourage a binge filled evening laced with a hint of self-loathing, step away from the candy.
Tip #2: If your Borderline has a fear of commitment, don’t choose this day to propose. Getting engaged is stressful enough. Getting engaged on a day where the expectations of romance are a bajillion times higher, could make her heart crack into a thousand of those mini little chalk flavor heart candies with inspirational sayings like “WTF dude?” or “Are you serious?”.
Tip #3: Just because your Borderline says that she hates Valentine’s Day, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything. Remember when I said that you should treat her special every day? February 14th is still one of those days. I know it's a complete contradiction to say you hate Valentine's Day, and then want to do something on Valentine's Day, but it's also a message of, the holiday is stupid, then again, it's a day like any other that I want to see you, so I want to see you! Warning: This may get you laid instantly.
Tip #4: Don’t expect perfection. This is for the Borderlines out there that create these amazingly unattainable fantasy scenarios that no human short of a transgendered Aphrodite come down from Mr. Olympus could live up to. There are a handful of romantic men out there, but playing the odds, yours probably isn’t one of them. If you want to do something specific, speak up! Otherwise just be appreciative that he remembered the date at all. Let’s face it, this is pretty impressive for a lot of guys.
Tip #5: If your Borderline has issues with object constancy… get her/him a gift! Or even a thoughtful card. No, not one of those goofy ones with a pre-written message. A blank card. The kind that you fill up with your own writing. Don’t be afraid to get gooey. Emotionally gooey, I mean. Don’t like, jerk off on the card. That’s just gross. And creepy. Giving a gift or a card that your Borderline can keep with them is an excellent way of saying, “I may not be around all the time, but here’s a small part of me for you to hold on to.”
So there you go. Haven’s tips for a successful Valentine’s Day with your Borderline. Does anyone have any special plans? What am I doing you ask? Nothing. Tech Boy hasn’t brought it up and I’m not going to mention it if he doesn’t. I’m going to the gym, because I do have an eating disorder and if I skip one more workout my head may explode. Head explosion prevention trumps candy company holidays in my book. That doesn’t mean I like the idea of being lonely today (because it’s a day like any other day that I don’t like to be lonely!). Feel free to spend some time here with me =)
EDIT: Soooo I may have plans afterall =X
*I know I use “her” mostly but this also applies to all the “him”s out there too. Writing him/her everywhere is kind of obnoxious and interrupts the flow of my writing. It’s not that I’m discriminating, I’m just lazy. Happy Valentine’s Day!