Monday, June 18, 2012

Sick Day

I was planning on posting about How to stop Projection today, but as it turns out, I'm too sick to function. 


Seriously. Who gets sick mid-June? I have a theory that since it was such a mild winter the virus germs got all confused. Now it's past their usual due date for sickness and they're all scrambling to get their infection quota in. Like, "Shit guys, we missed the cue on this one, quick we need to launch all that misery we missed out on when we should have been spreading it around! Go go go!" 


Yeah, so that's my theory. 

Fail. I'd honestly rather be doing work than have lungs filled with ick and gross. 


Relatively accurate representation

4 comments:

  1. get well soon :)

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  2. Hate when that happens. So swak. Hope you get better soon love <3

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  3. Haven - I think I'm in turmoil over a borderline male...some classic signs that he's a waif type...has told me he wants me to "take the lead" then I end up sitting around waiting for him to confirm or cancel last minute...only when he knows I'm in...when he's pulling me back in he calls and does some planning things to respect my schedule...on and on...my question for you...does he know that he's doing this? He's super smart, and I'm wonder if he knows he's playing these games or if it's just his m.o. (I think he tried to give me a confession about his part recently, but because he was so anxious I gave him and out...also because I wanted to keep seeing him). If it's conscious behaviour it's abusive...I'm a mess. Help! What kind of questions could I maybe ask? What do I do to either try to get deeper and shut it down or figure out how to get the hell out. I would so like to make it work - I'm crazy about this guy - but I can't trust that he won't go sideways on me and he's always making selfish decisions.

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    1. Hm. Here's the thing, he obviously knows he's messing up plans with you otherwise he wouldn't be trying to make up for it, but I doubt he's doing it to purposely mess with you. He probably has reasons that are very valid in his mind at the time, that feel more important to him than being able to follow through. It's not because he's trying to hurt you though. It's just how his head is. What's more, he probably feels really bad about doing it too, but can't manage to stop.

      The best thing I think you could do is set some real boundaries. Let him know that it's not fair to you to have to sit around and wait for him so if he refuses to respect your plans, than you're not going to sit around and wait for him to make up his mind.

      Next time he cancels on you or refuses to make up his mind, ask him to explain what is going on. Why the decision is causing him anxiety or distress. And make sure you tell him, gently, how it makes you feel when he refuses to respect your needs too.

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Leave me a comment! It makes me feel good and less paranoid about talking to myself =)

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