“Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.”
- Alan Cohen
I think this is something that we forget. We can’t hold onto this sentiment which contributes to the paralyzing anxiety that arises from our abandonment and rejection fears. We often believe the worst of ourselves, only see our failures, and naturally believe that those things are also only what others will perceive of us as well. It’s important for us to keep people in our lives that don’t mind reminding us that they see the whole picture of us, and not just the dark, bad, and evil images we see of ourselves.
It’s also important for us to remember that those in our lives are not only the worst parts of themselves as well. In times of devaluation, in times of splitting black, it’s difficult to remember that there are also aspects of white, and grey in the others of our lives.
Finding balance is so difficult sometimes. When we have such extreme ways of perceiving the people in our lives it’s often difficult to make those choices of who to continue keeping in our lives and who to let go. It’s important to allow others in our lives to make their own mistakes, have their own victories, and see them as a whole as well.