“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
One of the reasons I often think I’m a bad person is because I remember all the hurtful things I’ve done, all the pain I’ve experienced, and I refuse to let it fall into the background so that no matter how good I become, how much positive change I work towards, I always feel tainted by my past. This seems unfair to myself, because I’ll be the first person to tell others that it’s who they are now, who they choose to become, that matters most. I believe this. But because I cling so tightly to that behind-the-scenes, that archive, I factor that into everything, and don’t have that same experience with everyone else… it results in me judging myself much more harshly. I often feel like because I’ve struggled with things, and it appears to have been easier for someone else, that I’m not as worthy of that thing, my knowledge is somehow lessened, my accomplishment is diminished because of my struggle… when really I think it shouldn’t be diminished, but perhaps lauded, because despite the fact that something did not come easily, I did not give up, I pushed on despite the difficulty.
It’s hard to not compare ourselves to others. It rarely ever results in anything but unpleasantness. Either you’re judging someone else, or judging yourself.
We should try to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. Not the best impersonation of someone else.