Friday, November 23, 2012

Thanksgiving Irony is Ironic

Having battled bulimia since I was 12/13 years old, it's not surprising that Thanksgiving - a holiday that revolves almost entirely around gorging yourself silly on holiday food - is not my favorite time of year. (The fact that I do a special Eating Disorder Thanksgiving post every year is probably a give away as well.)

Last year was the first year since then that I can remember having a pretty okay time, actually enjoying my family, and succeeding at a goal of moderate evening an zero purging. 

This year was a little different for me. I didn't make the 8 hour drive to see my family this year. I stayed in New York. So that was odd. Roommate Monroe wanted me to spend Thanksgiving with her family, which was originally the plan. 

I had two goals for this Thanksgiving:

1. Have an alcohol free holiday.
2. Refrain from binging and purging. 

Two goals. Keeping them small and achievable. Or so I thought. 

I succeeded on the first one. No alcohol, yay me. 

As for the second goal, well, as it turns out I couldn't spend the holiday with Monroe's family either. I tried to go to the gym in the morning. Walking moderately fast made me dizzy. I was having hot and cold flashes where my heart would start to race. I was feverish.... I was sick. So I ended up spending the day cuddled up on the couch with my cats. 

I had the oddest cravings for simple carbs (pasta, pizza, and accompanying tomato sauce) which I never eat. I am simply obsessed with fresh fruits, vegetables, and yogurt. I eat mostly organic whole foods. I love my green smoothies. I actually miss being vegan sometimes. Anyways. All of those things that I love made my stomach turn... not that I could actually eat them, just the thought of them made me want to vomit. 

So I caved to the idea of some nice pasta and organic tomato sauce. Try as I might, my stomach didn't like that either. I tried eating twice yesterday and both times my stomach rebelled. 

So there you have my holiday irony. A goal of  not overeating b/c I specifically did not want to engage in my bad purging habits. Except even when I didn't over eat, my body needed to throw up anyways, just because I was sick. 

 Frankly I think I technically succeeded in my 2nd goal as well. I wasn't being bad by choice. I was just the victim of an unfortunate stomach bug. Oh well, there's always next year.

How did you fare? Did you manage to get through the holiday alright? 


  1. Made it through pretty well, ready for bed right now though! That's too bad you had a sickly year. You're right, there is always next year! - Hang in there!

  2. so sorry you were sick... & hope you are healthy now! & i have faith that you would have achieved your goals had you been well, so..keep up the good work! :)

  3. Sorry to hear that you ended up being sick. I feel like the only one in my family who actually portions my meals. "I do portion my food," says my uncle, as he takes a tiny scoop of mashed potatoes. "See?" Meanwhile, his plate is still a mountain, just a mountain of 25 'tiny' things all pushed together.


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