Having battled bulimia since I was 12/13 years old, it's not surprising that Thanksgiving - a holiday that revolves almost entirely around gorging yourself silly on holiday food - is not my favorite time of year. (The fact that I do a special Eating Disorder Thanksgiving post every year is probably a give away as well.)
Last year was the first year since then that I can remember having a pretty okay time, actually enjoying my family, and succeeding at a goal of moderate evening an zero purging.
This year was a little different for me. I didn't make the 8 hour drive to see my family this year. I stayed in New York. So that was odd. Roommate Monroe wanted me to spend Thanksgiving with her family, which was originally the plan.
I had two goals for this Thanksgiving:
1. Have an alcohol free holiday.
2. Refrain from binging and purging.
Two goals. Keeping them small and achievable. Or so I thought.
I succeeded on the first one. No alcohol, yay me.
As for the second goal, well, as it turns out I couldn't spend the holiday with Monroe's family either. I tried to go to the gym in the morning. Walking moderately fast made me dizzy. I was having hot and cold flashes where my heart would start to race. I was feverish.... I was sick. So I ended up spending the day cuddled up on the couch with my cats.
I had the oddest cravings for simple carbs (pasta, pizza, and accompanying tomato sauce) which I never eat. I am simply obsessed with fresh fruits, vegetables, and yogurt. I eat mostly organic whole foods. I love my green smoothies. I actually miss being vegan sometimes. Anyways. All of those things that I love made my stomach turn... not that I could actually eat them, just the thought of them made me want to vomit.
So I caved to the idea of some nice pasta and organic tomato sauce. Try as I might, my stomach didn't like that either. I tried eating twice yesterday and both times my stomach rebelled.
So there you have my holiday irony. A goal of not overeating b/c I specifically did not want to engage in my bad purging habits. Except even when I didn't over eat, my body needed to throw up anyways, just because I was sick.
Frankly I think I technically succeeded in my 2nd goal as well. I wasn't being bad by choice. I was just the victim of an unfortunate stomach bug. Oh well, there's always next year.
How did you fare? Did you manage to get through the holiday alright?