― Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
Question everything. Question what you've learned. Question what you've been told. Question what you believe. Question your thoughts. Questions your feelings. While our feelings are always valid, it's important that we question their proportional response to the situation in which we feel them. To become self-aware it's important to evaluate ourselves with as much objectivity as possible. Complete objectivity is almost never possible, but taking the steps toward it certainly are. Take a look at our feelings and try to discover if what we're feeling is a result of the immediate situation or if it has deeper roots in the past. Etc, etc,... the stuff I keep saying and all of that.
“Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.”
― Arthur Schopenhauer, Parerga and Paralipomena
As much as loss hurts. As much as loss sucks... this is something I agree with wholeheartedly. Bad things happen. This is an unfortunate side effect of that thing called life. We can't control the world around us. We can't choose when bad things happen. But we can control how they guide our lives. You have two choices. 1. Let that thing control you. Let it drag you out into the back field where it can feel like it's putting you down like a dog. Or. 2. Experience the situation. Recognize how you feel. And own it. Own what has happened and make a conscious decision to do things differently so that you can have a better outcome in the future. The deceptive thing here, is that it's not as easy as it sounds. Choice #2 does take more effort, and is rarely the easy way, but in the long run it will allow you to lead a healthier, happier life. Which for many of us, is pretty much the goal.