I’m having a terrible time at the moment. I’ve reached a point where I honestly can’t tell if my unhappiness is just me or if the world around me simply sucks that bad. It’s probably an unhealthy mix of both.
Empty, thoughts of cutting, not necessarily thoughts of suicide but, not being able to see my future or see the point of bothering with having a future. The weight of it all just seems like so much sometimes. With so very little to look forward too. The moments of light and laughter come and go so quickly it’s like they were never there at all. Fortunately I’ve lived with these times so often for so long, that I know they’ll pass. The moments drag and it can be so hard to remember there can be an end to them, but I do know now that there is an end. This won’t last forever.
I prefer the anger and destruction to the darkness and depression. Any day that’s what I prefer.
I’ve been on this new medication for a week. It’s a very low dose so I’m not sure if it isn’t working at all yet, or working adversely.
Anyways. I’m trying to get my posts out but I have so little energy and so little motivation what little I have I need to prioritize into the stuff necessary for my life to function. If posts come out a little slower than usual, don’t fret too much, they’ll still come.