Thursday, January 16, 2014

Hello, I'm Back!

Hello Dear Readers,
Some just take the scenic route to find themselves.


I’ve been gone for a long while. For this I deeply apologize. For a long while I didn’t feel I could write. I didn’t feel I had anything left to write about. My therapy and my medication and my personal life was so streamlined, in most areas, that I didn’t really have much to deal with. My therapist has been exceptionally proud of me. What I did have to deal with I haven’t felt capable of discussing because I did not want to violate the trust of people I value.  


I’d been researching more and feeling less traumatized. So little I really felt like almost a fraud for writing about Borderline, which I know is silly, because the point of being in therapy is to heal so you specifically don’t feel so traumatized and learn to cope constructively. Which is exactly what I was doing.


Someone had also made me very paranoid about my writing. So paranoid that I wasn’t sure I could continue to be open about myself. This has been incredibly detrimental to my healing process. What I realized though, was that the problem was ultimately not about me, it was about them. I need to do what is healthy for me. What is healthy for me, is to continue writing and to continue to research, because I do still have a lot to say and lot to contribute.


Things have taken a decided down turn as of late. This happens. I will update a lot. I will be bringing a lot of new therapeutic techniques to the table.


I’m sorry I needed some time to get my head together and regroup. I’ve missed you. I am back now.


Love,

Haven

12 comments:

  1. don't apologize! Just glad you're back! Boy have I missed you....

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  2. I was concerned. Kinda lost & panicky of sorts, without having your words to relate too or feel some sort of normalcy to fall back on your wisdom & strength. Watching you grow helps me grow too.
    Very grateful you are around again! !

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  3. Yay you're back! :)

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  4. So very happy you are back...I was worried about you :)

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  5. Awesome! Glad you feel as if you are almost fully recovered. Provides even more examples of hope for BPDers/nons :)

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  6. Reading your blog, nothing has ever resonated with me as much as your words did. you described everything i felt and experienced in a way that made me feel as though im reading about my life and it's inspiring. there is hope! :) btw do you tend to have random vivid flashbacks to your childhood? or remember things you did or things you were thinking at the time? that happens to me fairly often...figured out a lot of things that way about my life when i went on this journey of self-discovery last year, tracing all the way back to my childhood and the patterns and themes appearing throughout my life. it's been difficult as I live in a country where therapists and doctors do not keep confidentiality and I am 28 and still living with my parents...unemployed, not finished college and got out of a long abusive relationship....and u know what? through everything i know i have balls of steel! keep writing please...

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    Replies
    1. I'm so glad my writing has helped you.

      It's odd I do have vivid flashbacks but I also have huge gaps in my memory where I don't remember a lot of things at all.

      I definitely will keep writing. It's good for me and I do think it's good in general. Thank you! You're awesome!

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  7. I'm just glad you're back. I've missed your blog posts.

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  8. hi haven. glad that you are back and that you are ok.

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  9. so glad you're back!! hugs!!

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  10. Thank you for returning. You have helped me in the past. Having your blog to read brings some kind of order to my life

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Leave me a comment! It makes me feel good and less paranoid about talking to myself =)

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